


House of Memories

by Iwritemayhem



Category: EXO
Genre: Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Break Up, Cheating, Domestic, Fluff, Hurt, M/M, Reconciliation, Slice of Life, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:49:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwritemayhem/pseuds/Iwritemayhem
Summary: How does the heart move on when its been shattered?basically a really sad fic i wrote two years ago inspired by Panic! at the Disco's songs House of memories and Collar Full





	1. Promise Me A Place

Luhan woke up to a blaring alarm clock. He groaned and reached to his alarm to shut it off. He couldn't imagine why of all nights he couldn't fall asleep last night. He had just tossed and turned throughout the evening. It had honestly felt like he only got an hour of sleep. With a lot of effort he managed to get into sitting position in his bed. Letting out one last yawn, he decided it was time to get out of bed unless he wanted to be late to work. Getting out of his bed and stretching he made his way to the bathroom to freshen up and get ready.

 

Luhan lived in downtown Chicago and had a 30 minute commute to work on good days. Today was clearly not a good day, because despite his effort he was late to the train station which meant he would have to wait fifteen minutes before the next train. The fifteen minute wait wasn't the problem. It was the fact that since he didn't get on the first train, now the next train was going to be uncomfortably packed. To make matters worse, in his haste he had forgotten his headphones at home. Sighing Luhan decided his day couldn't possibly get much worse. He leaned against a pillar, just looking around his surroundings and noticed a musician setting up. 

 

Luhan being a lover to all sorts of music waited patiently to see what the man was going to play on his guitar. The man tuned the strings a couple times before he started playing. Luhan found the melody familiar, but couldn't quite remember where he had heard it before. And then Luhan heard the musician sing, and he felt a wave of nostalgia and pain hit him so hard he swore he would have fallen had he not been leaning on the pillar. It had been soo long since he last heard that song! Why?! Why today out of any other did he have to come across this song?

 

Before he could stop them, images of him and another flashed in his mind. Random moments of pure bliss, of stolen kisses and hand holding, all of them coming back. Luhan felt tears trying to spill, but he held them back this was absolutely not the place nor the time. He thanked the universe when he noticed the train coming and as soon as the door opened he jumped in trying to get as far as possible from the music that had brought back those unwanted memories.

 

He had made it to work right on time and Luhan felt a wave of relief as he walked over to his office. He worked as a legal consultant at a very important law firm. He was among the lucky few that got a job right after graduating college. His friend Xiumin and he were the youngest workers at the age of 26. It was the one thing in his life Luhan was truly proud of.  After settling his briefcase on the desk and looking through some emails Luhan walked out to get some coffee. As he walked over, he started remembering the day he had gone home excited to tell his boyfriend at the time that he had gotten the job. They both had celebrated over glasses of champagne.  

 

Luhan had to shake himself out of the memory. Come on Luhan don't go there, he thought to himself. He had gone a whole year without thinking of him. One year and now, all because of that stupid song he couldn't stop the memories. Walking back to his office with his coffee, he tried his best to concentrate on work. He had partially succeeded up until he started day dreaming as he waited for some copies. Slowly his musings turned into memories of him and his ex dancing around their apartment after the other had successfully passed an exam they both had stayed up studying for. He remembered how soft his skin had been and how nice it felt to lean in to the other. Fuck we were soo happy then….I was soo happy then Luhan bitterly thought. His thoughts were interrupted when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around he saw one of the interns.

 

“Sorry sir, it’s just I think your copies are done.” She said with a shy smile.

“Oh thanks Lilly, sorry.” Luhan said quickly gathering his copies and heading back to his office.

Luhan sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hairs repeatedly. He needed to get a hold of himself. He had sworn that he would never think of him again he had made those memories taboo for a year! How could his control been broken so easily by that stupid song? Taking a deep breath Luhan immersed himself in work again.

 

He just needed to keep his mind focused on other things.

 

Fifteen minutes into work and his mind wandered again. He was taken back to one of their first dates. They had gone to see a movie and were walking back to their cars hand in hand. Luhan remembered them talking about how good the movie was, and he remembered how much he hadn’t wanted the night to end. Then when they had reached their own cars they had let go of their hands. Luhan was ready to give the taller male a hug when the other had surprised him by pulling him in and pulling his chin up to look into his eyes.

 

He remembered how he had lost himself in the other’s eyes and slowly they both leaned forward and kissed. That one kiss was enough for Luhan to know that this was who he was supposed to be with. That kiss was what had him imagining growing old with that person.

How wrong had he turned out to be?!? How fucking stupid he had been to believe that happy endings could exist? Deciding that he needed fresh air and a cigarette Luhan rushed out of his office and made his way downstairs and out the back door. As soon as he was outside he took a big gulp of fresh air and tried to relax.

 

He pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and took a long much needed drag. Luhan had only recently started smoking. It was a habit he had picked up on with a short fling. He knew how bad cigarettes were, but sometimes they were the only things he could resort to. Alcohol was also an option but he couldn’t work and be as drunk as he wanted to be at the moment.

Fuck a fucking year and you’re back to how it had been the first time around Luhan thought bitterly. He hated thinking of him. It only made him angry at himself because after what happened he shouldn’t have to be hurt over it. He should be glad that he had gotten out of that relationship. And yet there he was having a hard time keeping it together. Luhan had tried everything to forget him.

 

The first month after the whole mess he had gone on a streak of sleeping with random strangers. He figured it would be a big fuck you to the world and to him. He had hoped that it would cause the other pain to see that he was just fine and didn’t need him. He thought it was helping because each time he felt like he had moved on; he also enjoyed the thrill of it. But then, when the strangers left he would feel empty and lonely. After a while he noticed that he would compare the stranger to him and each time after that he would end up even more of a mess. He would look for pieces of him in all the strangers, and he hated himself for that. He hated that after how much he hurt him… No no no I can’t do this no Luhan stopped himself.

 

He wasn’t going to go there. It wasn’t worth it. He had managed to fix himself enough to the point where breathing was easy again. Taking one last drag from his cigarette, Luhan dropped the bud and stepped on it to put it out. Luhan walked back briskly into his office building, and attempted to get back into his work. Lunch time rolled around, and Luhan had successfully blocked his thoughts and memories out. For the first time in his short career, he was grateful he had had a meeting with a couple of the other lawyers. The meeting had been one he had been dreading all week, and now he was grateful because it had made it easier to not think and remember. He had also managed to get work done.

 

Feeling like he deserved to reward himself, Luhan headed out for lunch and thought of maybe going to his favorite cupcake place. He was well on his way to the cupcake place when he realized something. The cupcake place he was heading to was introduced to him by his ex. He had actually stopped going there after he had ended everything. Luhan stopped in his tracks.

He remembered that the other had brought him to the cupcake place one night after they both had decided they needed a break from studying. The other had known how much of a sweet tooth Luhan had and since he was in the mood for something sweet they had gone there. Ever since that night Luhan had fallen in love with that place and would often go with his boyfriend. They would even have study sessions there. 

 

Luhan had avoided that place like a plague. He avoided all the places that they had shared memories in.  Anything that could potentially bring back memories he cut out of his life. He just couldn’t handle it. The memories always left him feeling bitter and sad. God why did he have to be so easily affected why couldn’t he just move on with his life?  Luhan knew that the way he was living wasn’t moving on but it was much better than crying all the time like he had been at one point. I can’t go back to that! God fuck him?!? He hurt you! Why am doing this to myself? Why should I give his memory the satisfaction of still haunting me? He thought to himself as he quickly turned around and headed back to the office.

 

Luhan was back at his desk going over some notes from the meeting when he heard a knock at his door.

“Come in” he said while still engrossed in the notes.

“Hey Lu! How’s it going?”

Looking up Luhan instantly broke into a smile. “Hey Xiumin! I’m good what’s up?”

“Nothing much, I was just wondering why my best friend bolted out of here for lunch without even giving me a warning.” Xiumin said accusingly as he sat himself in front of Luhan, but the look in his eyes told Luhan it was only half-hearted. Luhan had been so caught up trying to distract himself he had completely forgotten that Xiumin and he usually got lunch together. Looking at his friend Luhan gave him a sheepish smile.

 

“I am so sorry Min! I have no idea what’s gotten into me today. I hardly got any sleep last night and my morning was a little rushed. I’ve just been think----I uhhh I’m just so sorry!” Luhan replied hoping that Xiumin hadn’t caught him almost revealing what was really bothering him.

 

“I should have known something was up when I saw you head down to get a smoke. Lu I thought things were getting better?” Xiumin said inching closer in his chair to Luhan.

 

“I know! I know I mean you know how well I’ve been doing!! I just I don’t know I can’t stop thinking about him today and it’s just so infuriating.” Luhan sighed looking at his best friend. He was truly grateful to have a friend like Xiumin. Xiumin had really helped Luhan get his life back together and sat with him on the really dark days from the beginning. He didn’t know what he would have been doing if he hadn’t had his support.

 

“Aww Lu I mean, I guess... I guess shit happens. I know how much you loved him, and how big a part of your life was revolved around him. Just don’t let it mess with you too much. Maybe maybe you need to let the memories come so that you can look back on them fondly?” Xiumin offered.

 

“You’re probably right…..Hey you know what? Why don’t I make up ditching you at lunch with some drinks after work?” Luhan said smiling up at his friend.

 

“Yeah okay I could go for some drinks. Fucking Kyungsoo is driving me up the wall today.” Xiumin complained as he got out of his seat to head back to work.

 

“Damn I do not envy you well I’ll see you later then.” Luhan said smiling as Xiumin nodded and headed out the door.

 

Sighing Luhan went to back to work only to stop a couple seconds later as his mind wandered back to HIM.

 

Luhan had met Sehun in college. They had met through mutual friends, hit it off when they first met, and soon became good friends. Sehun had been the one that wanted to actually date Luhan, but Luhan was a bit hesitant because he genuinely liked Sehun and didn’t want their relationship to become awkward if things didn’t work out, so he suggested they just be friends. Eventually Sehun had worn him down and they started dating. Quickly Luhan became head-over heels in love with Sehun. The guy was perfect and made Luhan feel so special and loved. After dating for a couple months and becoming boyfriends, they had moved on to moving in together. Everything was perfect the two hardly ever had any big fights, and if they did they always managed to fix them before either of them could end up going to bed angry. Luhan had genuinely thought that this was the man he was eventually going to grow old with. He couldn’t imagine not having the other in his life. But then one day he had gotten home early from work and thought he could surprise Sehun with a nice dinner.  They had been together for three years at the time and Luhan knew Sehun's schedule well enough to know he had plenty of time to go buy some groceries and cook dinner. When he had gotten home he was surprised to see Sehun's shoes  and another pair he didn’t  recognize at the door and then he heard voices coming from their bedroom. Luhan had felt so confused as he walked over to the door.  When he managed to open the door Luhan felt his heart stop. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing and he wished that it was all a nightmare because on their bed was the love of his life with someone else.

 

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!! God why does it still hurt this much?!?! Fuck anyone that ever says time heals all wounds because they could not be more wrong! Luhan screamed in his mind while wiping away at some stray tears that had been spilled. Taking in a shaky breath Luhan got straight back to work and reminded himself that he was going out with Xiumin later that day and he couldn’t be acting like this.

 

Luhan managed to pull through the rest of his work. He was feeling a little proud of himself and started to genuinely feel excited for going out with Xiumin. Once Xiumin was done they both headed out to a bar nearby Luhan’s house that they both liked. They talked about everything and nothing over their drinks. Soon they were both feeling pleasantly buzzed. Both agreed they should stop before getting drunk, and have to deal with a hangover before going back to work the next day.

“Thanks for the drinks man, I actually really needed this.” Xiumin said pulling out of his embrace from Luhan.

“It’s the least I could do after not waiting for you for lunch.” Luhan replied giving his friend a warm smile. They waved good-bye to each other and then each headed their own way home. 

 

The night wasn’t too cold so Luhan decided to just walk part of the way home. As he was walking he let his mind wander back to the past. He was finally out of work so he didn’t have to worry about slacking off or going into a panic attack.

The thing that bothered Luhan the most out of the whole situation wasn’t the fact that Sehun had cheated on him. It was the fact that even though Sehun had cheated and it had hurt Luhan immensely, he still loved him. He still loved Sehun with all his heart. He often found himself longing for the other and just missing him. He missed his laugh, his eyes, his kisses, his touches. He missed all the random conversations and late night convenient store runs that Sehun used to call adventures. The first month after the whole break up had been such a mess with lUhan looking for comfort in strangers arms and it only ended when Luhan realized that what he was doing only made him miss the other more.

I wish I could believe he never wronged me. I wish I didn’t miss him so much because then maybe I could look back at the memories without feeling so hurt. I wish I wish I didn’t love him as much as I do. Why am I still falling apart?  Luhan thought bitterly as he walked down the familiar street to his house.

 

He had been so caught up with his thoughts that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going that soon he bumped into someone. It hadn’t helped that he was also looking at the ground and he was buzzed enough to lose some of his balance from the impact. The stranger had settled Luhan within his arms after noticing Luhan had lost a bit of his balance.

 

“I am soo sorry sir oh my god please forgive me.” Luhan said looking up at the stranger he was about to thank him for holding him up when the words died in his throat. Standing right in front of him was the person that had been plaguing his mind all day.

How is this possible? How the fuck is he standing here??! Last time I heard he had moved to New  York. Why is he here now?! On all the fucking days to reappear it just had to be today!?!?!

 

“Luhan?” Sehun asked not believing his eyes.

Luhan was instantly brought out of his thoughts and he jumped out of Sehun's hold. He had no idea how long he had been caught up in his thoughts before he looked at Sehun again.

 

“Sehun?”

 

 

Baby we built this house on memories…………           


	2. Show Me Your Love

Sehun?” the shock of seeing the other still evident in Luhan’s voice. He stared at Sehun trying to make sense of the whole situation and then the shock wore off, and in it’s place anger took over. Anger so hot Luhan could not feel the cold outside anymore.

 

“What are you doing here?” he demanded from the other who looked to be stuck being shocked.  Luhan could tell that his tone had caught the other off guard because something like hurt flickered in his eyes but it only lasted for a second. Oh hell no you don’t get to reappear and give me a flicker Luhan seethed in his mind.

 

Sehun composed himself and cleared his throat. “I’m here for work there is a conference being held in the city.” He explained casually making Luhan want to punch him. Why does he sound so calm!!! Luhan screamed in his mind.

 

Deciding that he had enough of being in front of the other Luhan replied. “Oh well it was good seeing you. I have to get up early tomorrow, so if you will excuse----“

 

“Luhan wait…” Sehun said eyes pleading as Luhan tried to make his way past him. He grabbed onto Luhan's arm forcing Luhan to turn back and look at him “The conference isn’t the only reason I’m here.” He said looking into Luhan's eyes.

 

Luhan felt like he couldn’t breathe. Sehun was much too close and had he just told him the conference wasn’t the only reason he was there? What was he trying to do? Make Luhan go crazy? He didn’t need this! As much as one part of him wanted some kind of indication that Sehun had missed him or still cared about him, the other part him felt like knowing that would only be the end of him.  

 

Luhan shrugged off Sehun's hold and stepped back putting distance between him so he could clear his mind. Not seeing him for a year had made Luhan realize that his memories had not done Sehun any justice. The man was as beautiful as the first time he had laid eyes on him. He needed to get away before the other’s face could cloud his judgement any further.

 

“That’s nice and all, but I really don’t care.” Luhan replied defiantly. He felt anger was much better than getting down on the ground and crying like he really wanted. With one last glance at a quiet Sehun, Luhan turned on his heel and walked towards his apartment building. He silently wished the other would stop him, but then quickly berated himself for wanting that. He had been through enough today. As much as Luhan just wanted to hear Sehun out, he knew he would hate himself much more later once he was alone again.

 

Sehun on the other hand was watching the shorter male’s retreating form. He gritted his teeth in annoyance. He had come on this trip solely to be able to see Luhan and talk to him. To beg for the other’s forgiveness if he had to.  What he hadn’t expected was to run into the other so soon. He had thought he was dreaming when Luhan was walking towards looking as beautiful as ever. He had been walking around trying to practice what he would say to Luhan when he saw a familiar figure.  As Luhan had come closer not noticing him, Sehun saw the sadness in the others eyes and felt hope that he still had a chance. A chance that he now blew because he was a coward. Sehun ran his hand through his hair in frustration looking at Luhan's figure in the distance. He hadn’t come back to be a coward again damn it.

 

The worst thing he had ever done was leave to New York after the incident. It was all his fault and he couldn’t bear to face Luhan after what he had done. Like a coward he ran away. He had heard from his friends what had happened when he had left but felt helpless. There was nothing he could have done because Luhan had every right to be angry at him. He was furious that he had been coping in such a dangerous way, but who was he to tell Luhan to stop? It was his fault anyway!!! He had fucked up royally and was too scared to do anything about it. Sehun ran away thinking that putting distance between him and Luhan would somehow fix things. He knew Luhan deserved someone much better than him so he left hoping Luhan could find that someone. What he hadn’t realized was how much Luhan would plague his mind. He wanted to come back every day or just call him but he couldn’t. He had absolutely no right to. Sighing Sehun ran his hand through his hand once more and made up his mind. This was his only chance and he couldn’t just let it slip out his fingers.

 

Sehun ran to catch up to Luhan that was now a good distance away. He rushed up behind the other as he neared the entrance of the apartment. 

“Luhan wait.” He called out as soon as he was within earshot and slowed his pace so that he could catch his breath.

 

Luhan turned around and saw Sehun jogging up to him and felt his heart speed up.  Why couldn’t Sehun just leave him alone?! Luhan groaned internally feeling his resolve slowly slip away once Sehun was in front of him again.

 

“What do you want Sehun?” He groaned looking up at the other.

 

Sehun took a breath willing his heart beat to slow down.

 

“Luhan I came back to talk to you. I came back because I needed to see you.” Sehun saw Luhan step back and distrust written clearly on his feature.

 

“Look I know. I know it’s been a year and you’ve probably already moved on but please…please hear me out.” Sehun added seeing Luhan biting on his lip something Sehun recognized as contemplation.

 

Hearing Sehun plead and sound so honest broke Luhan. He had wanted the anger to come back but the weaker side of him took over. Hadn’t he wished that the other would come and chase after him? Well there Sehun was, out of breath and waiting for Luhan's answer. Knowing that he could regret this later Luhan looked at Sehun and sighed.

 

“Alright Sehun I’ll hear you out, but I’m not doing this outside.” Luhan said as he turned and headed inside his apartment building. He didn’t miss the sigh of relief Sehun had let out as the other followed him up the stairs toward his apartment.

 

When they reached Luhan's apartment Luhan only turned to tell Sehun to take off his shoes and opened the door. He quickly took off his coat and hung it then walked into the kitchen and turned on the lights. He sat himself in his kitchen table and crossed his arm on his chest and waited for Sehun to say something.

 

Sehun took in the small apartment and tried his best to calm his heart that was beating erratically. He gulped when he saw Luhan sitting waiting for him. Deciding that he would feel weird sitting down he rubbed his fingers and stood  in  front of Luhan across the table.

 

“So? What did you want to say? I have work tomorrow morning and the sooner we get this over with the sooner I can go to sleep.” Luhan said bitterly.

 

Needing no more prompting Sehun began.

 

“Luhan I’m sorry. I am soo incredibly sorry for what I did to you.”

 

Luhan just looked at him blankly in an effort to conceal his emotions.

 

“I am sorry for what I did to us.” Sehun continued. “I know this is all my fault. I know you probably hate me and you have every right to. What I did was horribly wrong and you have no idea how much I regret it.”

 

“Then why did you do it?” Luhan whispered not being able to look at Sehun.

 

Sehun had expected this. He knew Luhan would ask him this but he was not prepared for how hurt Luhan had sounded. His whisper was laced with so much pain Sehun wished he could turn back time and stop that moment from ever happening.  The last thing he had ever wanted in this world was to hurt Luhan. How many times had he promised the other his undying love and how he would never ever hurt him? He felt like the vilest villain because he had been the one to hurt Luhan.

“Because… because I’m a moron.” Sehun said after a while of silence.

 

Luhan looked straight at him and let out a humorless laugh and shook his head.

 

“So you come back after a year and beg me to hear you out just to tell me you’re a moron?” Luhan stood up and felt the anger rising in him once more.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?  All this time and THAT’s the only thing you can come up with?” he was yelling now and Sehun flinched at the anger behind his questions.

 

“Know what you’re not a moron you’re the worst kind of trash! And …. And… I…I” Luhan couldn’t say it. He couldn’t scream at Sehun that he hated him. As much as Luhan was hurting those words couldn’t leave his tongue. He wanted Sehun to just leave but the other just stared at him in shock. Luhan bit his lip in an effort to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. He put his hands on the table and looked down.

 

“Sehun please leave. I can’t do this tonight.” He whispered feeling drained.

 

Sehun was pulled out of his shocked state when he saw how defeated Luhan looked. Composing himself he inched forward.

 

“I know Luhan…that is the worst excuse and you’re right I am scum but it’s the only excuse I have.  I… I have thought about it for a long time and I cannot fathom what went through my head that day.” He said hoping Luhan would look up at him. 

 

“Luhan please look at me.” He pleaded when he realized the other wasn’t going to.

 

Luhan looked up and Sehun could see the tears brimming in Luhan’s eyes. This made Sehun’s own eyes start to prick.

 

“You have no idea how much I wish that had never happened. You have no idea how many times I wished I could just die to get rid of the pain I caused both of us Luhan. God I have missed ----“

 

“DON’T!” Luhan yelled cutting Sehun off. “Don’t you fucking say that!!”

 

Luhan couldn’t handle it anymore tears began to fall and he lost all strength in his legs. He slumped into his chair and felt more tears fall. Sehun had missed him. There it was the one thing Luhan had wanted to know. The thought that had been plaguing his mind for a year and tormented him all day. Sehun had admitted to missing him and he wanted nothing more to un-hear those words.  He couldn’t allow for those words to sink in because they would be a hell of a lot more painful to remember when he was alone.  Sehun was clearly only here to clear his guilty conscious. There was no way that he would stay Luhan thought bitterly as he wiped at his tears angrily.

 

Sehun was speechless once more. The reality of it all not escaping him. He really had fucked everything up hadn’t he? He had never seen Luhan like this.  Luhan was never one to raise his voice let alone swear. I did this to him he thought mournfully as he watched Luhan wipe away his tears. Feeling more determined to fix everything Sehun inched closer and cleared his throat in order to get Luhan’s attention once more. Luhan looked up scowling but not fully looking at Sehun.

 

“I am so sorry Luhan…. I’m sorry that I there isn’t anything I can do to make the last year go away…but I need you to understand that I haven’t stopped thinking about you. My life without you isn’t the same it feels gray and cold because you were the light and warmth to my life. God you have no idea how much I truly hate myself. I also need you to know that I’m not here just to clear my conscious.” Sehun finished trying to gauge Luhan’s reaction.

 

Luhan bit his lip looking at Sehun and then he felt more tears threatening  to spill. Why is he saying things he doesn’t mean!?Does he like seeing the pain this all causes me? Luhan screamed in his mind. Taking in a ragged breath Luhan lifted himself off his chair and walked around the table and came to stand right in front of Sehun. Sehun shifted a little from the others proximity but didn’t look away from his eyes.

 

Taking in another ragged breath Luhan spoke.

“Please Sehun if you value me at all…please stop saying things you don’t mean. It hurts Sehun… it hurts too much and all I want is to not feel anymore.” He said slowly making sure Sehun was understanding.

 

Sehun shook his head in frustration. “Luhan that’s what I’m trying to tell you! I want you to understand that everything I’ve said is true! I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I want for us to move passed this. Tell me what I have to say to make things better.” Sehun said reaching to cup Luhan’s face and wipe away the tears.

 

Luhan stared up at him trying to find words but came up empty. He didn’t even stop Sehun from wiping away his tears. He felt so empty. He hated himself soo much for wanting to believe Sehun’s words. He looked into Sehun’s eyes trying to find something that could stop him, but all he saw was sincerity.

 

“If my words aren’t enough let me show you that I’m not messing around.” Sehun whispered before he leaned in and pressed his lips onto Luhan’s.

 

Luhan’s eyes widened but then he felt whole and closed his eyes. The kiss felt so familiar and then Sehun kissed him harder and Luhan could feel the others desperate attempt at convincing Luhan. Luhan kissed back eagerly pouring his feelings into the kiss. He wanted Sehun to know that even though he was hurt and had been hurting that he still loved him. Their lips molded together each taking in what the other was trying to convey when words had failed. Kissing Sehun felt like home and Luhan didn’t want it to end.

 

Sehun felt his heart rate pick up when he felt Luhan kissing him back. He had thought that the other would push him away but was happy he had been wrong.  Soon the kiss became a battle  of dominance that only ended because they were both gasping for air. Sehun looked over Luhan who was breathing heavily. Without hesitating Sehun pulled Luhan closer to him and kissed him again.

 

Luhan felt like his head was spinning. He had missed this. The way Sehun held him and kissed him was perfect. Sehun was the only one who could make Luhan feel like he was wanted like he was special. None of the people Luhan had tried to forget Sehun with were capable of making Luhan feel the way he felt in that instant. They could never compare to the way Sehun kissed and touched him.  Sehun deepened the kiss and Luhan understood what the difference between those people and Sehun was. With the others it had been pure lust but with Sehun it was love. Love that he could only ever feel for the person that was holding him tight  and kissing him senseless.

 

They parted for air again but still held on to each other.  Both of them stared into the others eyes trying to find the answers to their questions. Sehun bent his head to touch Luhan’s forehead with still breathing heavily.

 

“Luhan…I know I fucked up and I know trusting me is hard but let me regain that trust… I love you I always have and always will please let me regain your trust.” Sehun whispered.

 

Luhan stayed quiet. Sehun was right. He could forgive Sehun in fact he felt like he already had but trusting him...trusting him was going to be hard. The memory would never fade and Luhan would always question whether Sehun was being faithful or not.  Living without Sehun seemed unbearable though.  He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be alone after being with Sehun just now.  The choice was clear. Luhan tilted his head up and pressed his lips to Sehun’s.

 

It was going to be hard but this was the love of his life. They had been through hell and back. Things weren’t going to be a walk in the park but he hoped that this could only make them stronger. 

 

Sehun felt tears on his face and slowly realized they were his own. He kissed Luhan back and felt like he could breathe again. He didn’t deserve Luhan but he was going to make sure that one day he would feel like he did. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to Luhan and gain his trust back. This was the love of his life after all he owed him that much.

 

They both came to an understanding and felt themselves feel whole again. Looking into each others eyes they smiled happy to be part of each others house of memories.

 

…….promise me a place….


End file.
